How To Stay Faithful in Your Marriage Even When Your Spouse is Not

Picture this: You have just discovered that your husband or your wife aren't being faithful in the relationship and anger, or heartbreak immediately overtakes you and your first instinct is "I'm going to get revenge on them. I'm going to hurt them like they hurt me, so they know how it feels!" We have all felt that way once or twice before. I have to remind my flesh sometimes that my heart and soul is a Christian. I can't be getting out of character like that. How does me getting back at someone solve anything? Does it change the hurt they caused me? What does God say about how to treat others? Especially your spouse. The Bible says it like this, "Therefore all things whatsoever ye would that men should do to you, do ye even so to them: for this is the law and the prophets." Matthew 7:12 KJV 

Some would say, "Well, what does that mean?" This verse emphasizes treating others as you would want to be treated. How did you feel when you found out about the betrayal? Sadness, heartbreak, anger, just plain and simple: HURT! What would hurting them the same way change? Not a thing. You would still feel hurt and betrayed. Here are some ways to stay faithful to your spouse when they are not always faithful to you.

First things first; Pray for them.

The very best thing you can start with is prayer. If they can easily betray you like that and breach trust in the marriage, then they may need the prayer more than you think. God can handle revenge far greater than we can. There's a reason He said vengeance is mine. Just talk to God about how the betrayal made you feel and ask for help to overcome this. Pray for your spouse and forgive them. Notice I said forgive not forget. It's going to take some time to not have that memory of the betrayal on loop in your brain. 

Be the bigger person. WWJD?

Do not allow yourself to sink to their level of distrust and dishonesty. Be truthful always. What did the bible say to do again? Do unto others what you would have them do to you. If you didn't like the pain the betrayal caused you then don't do it back to them. I promise you that it will not make you feel better about yourself. Trust me, I've been there. It still didn't change what my spouse did to me or how it made me feel. If anything, I felt even worse for doing it to them. Put all of your faith and trust in God to make things better. Let Him have the full control because can't nobody restore things as beautifully as God can.

Confront them and address the betrayal.

As painful as it may be you and your spouse need to have a conversation about what happened and why it happened. Find the root problem and yank it out of the ground. Discuss the emotions each of you are having and find a solution. Most people would instantly think divorce is in the works and sometimes that is what happens. Most people are ready to throw the towel in right then and there. As Christians, we have strong beliefs about marriage and divorce. Marriage is of God and divorce is a sin. I hold those two words highly. Marriage is very important to me. I love having a forever best friend. Divorce is a very scary word for me because it reflects on my childhood with my own parents. If you can remain married and resolve your issues and lean on God, I believe that is best. If you can't overcome what happened, then this is one of those times I believe God allows biblical grounds for divorce. 

If you can trust God to heal you and restore your marriage that in itself is incredible. Be vulnerable with God. He is always here to listen, guide, and comfort you. He will never leave you nor forsake you; He will always be with you even until the end. Sometimes it takes being broken to remind us who to look to again. The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit. Psalm 34:18 NIV Keep fighting in faith and trust God that all is going to work out for the best. Thy Will Be Done.