Yes, even I've been there and I'm there again. People look at the title of my blog, The Faithful Wife and Mama, and probably think this woman has it all together. But let's be honest, I'm just like everyone else. I'm human. I fall short too. I've been dealing with some issues in my life lately. You ever just have something going on in your life and start to wonder if God hears your cries and sees your pain. That's me the past week or so. Sometimes I feel like I'm doing well in my walk with God and then there are times like lately that I wonder why it is that I'm having to endure these same issues over and over again. I forgive and try to move forward each time and things seem to get better and then before I know it, the waves are bigger than I can withstand and I'm hit hard with the truth. I question it each time, "Is it ever going to change?" Will I always have to deal with this? I'm trying my best to use my blog to help others understand the things I've been through and maybe help someone else see that there is hope and things can be restored, but when the past is constantly changing from "past" to "present" how can I help someone overcome what is going on in their life if I'm constantly reliving the past on a loop? I feel stuck and I long for the day that God makes my past stay in the past. I want it to be something that never happens again. I want what everyone wants, to walk through motherhood without the pain in my life overflowing and showing up as anger and overstimulation towards my kids, to not let what's happening in my marriage keep me from being a good mother, and to not let the struggles I'm facing in my marriage keep me from obeying and following God and trusting in His plan for my life. God's timing is not like our timing but I keep wondering how long will this season last and what does all of this mean for my life. I'm sorry I haven't been as positive lately. I'm struggling to keep my mind off of it all. I try to pray and sometimes I don't even have the words to say what I need or what I'm feeling. Whoever reads this I hope you are praying for good things to happen in my life. I really need to see a bright side of things.
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