I Am Conflicted

 Where do I begin? My eldest child has Autism, ADHD, and Generalized Anxiety Disorder. We were just recently diagnosed at the age of 10. He has always been a lot to handle and manage. It never crossed my mind that he could have any of these diagnoses. I myself am very similar to him as a child other than the fact that he is a boy. I have never been told or diagnosed by a doctor that I have any of the above, but I've seemed to have a lot of similarities to my son. I just thought he is like me and he will grow up one day and be okay like I am. He will be a functional adult. Finding out his diagnoses for me is an eye opener and made me question if I too have autism or ADHD. I've made it almost 32 years in life I don't care to know what my diagnoses is on that. I can manage myself at this point. I am debating on withdrawing him from public school because the mental workload and anxiety it is causing. He has dyslexia as well and he has an IEP at the school for accommodations but the anxiety part of it all is still not doing well. His mental health is declining and that is a sad and hard thing to watch when it is a child and especially if it is your own child. I don't want to disrupt his progress, but I can't continue to watch him suffer. I am planning to finish out this school year and see how he does on the 3rd grade state test and we will decide from there. I also have an appointment to get him on some medicine to see if that will help as well. If all doesn't improve by the end of the school year, I will be withdrawing him and homeschooling him. His brother wishes to remain in public school and stay with his friends. He also has ADHD, dyslexia, and is under an IEP at school. He has made tremendous progress, and I don't want to be selfish and pull him out so long as he is happy and thriving. He already takes medication for his ADHD and that has helped him a lot. I hope that I am making the right decisions regarding my children's education and well beings. I plan to send my daughter to public school just to see how she does and if she thrives and wishes to be there, I will continue to make sure she gets to go. She has never shown signs or been diagnosed with anything thus far and I hope she will not struggle as my boys have. They are all bright, intelligent, exceptional children but each one of them has a brain that thinks differently to the other. Prayers that I will do the right thing by my children and myself. I'm sorry this blog has declined in posts but it has been a rough couple of months and I one day plan to get back to posting more often. Until then, remember me and my family when you pray. Thank you.

                                                                                                    Destinee

Hello

Hey everyone! Just wanted to give an update on my brother-in-law. He is improving and doing a lot better. He no longer is on the ventilator and is eating and drinking normally. He is still fighting infection in his blood but has come a long way. He will need some rehab for learning to walk again but other than that he is doing better. He also found out in all of this that he is a type 1 diabetic so now he will have to learn how to manage that. Continue to pray for him that he will make a full recovery and be able to get back to a somewhat normal life. Thank you.  

October Y'all!

 The Chaos and Busyness

Last month we were dealing with sickness, burns, ER visits, and doctors' offices and it seems like some of it has carried over into October. October in itself is a busy month for us anyway. My kids go to a small school that holds a tradition every year for the entire month of October. Most public school have what they call Homecoming, but our school has Harvest Festival. Most of our school is people funded rather than government funded. While we are considered a public school and do have basic government funding, we still need more money to stay open. So, the entire month of October is filled with Harvest Festival festivities and raising money to give our kids everything that they need and on top of that they get a week of Fall Break during October. With this sickness that has carried over that we just can't seem to get rid of we haven't participated much on the selling of items. Although, we did sell some candy bars, and my kids have participated in some of the activities being offered and purchased some of the fun items sold within their classrooms. I hate that they are both not feeling well today and had to miss out on what is going on today. Hopefully we can nip all of this sickness in the bud and get on with the rest of this month. Next month will be even busier and the month after that as well. With Thanksgiving and Christmas upon us we need to all feel our best. I'm hoping these next couple holidays will go well and everyone will be happy. Also, friends I need those who pray to pray for my sister-in-law's fiancé. He is very sick right now and we are waiting for test results to see what all is wrong with him. Prayers that everything will be okay and prayers that all of my household will be able to get over sickness. Sorry that I have not been as consistent on this blog as I had hoped to be, but it seems I am in a season of chaos at the moment. I love you all.

         - Destinee

                                                                                

Be Rejoiceful Even in Suffering

 Today's Devotional

Today I decided to read in the book of Philippians, and I just started with Chapter 1. The Apostle Paul and Timotheus are speaking to the saints at Philippi. This chapter is teaching us that God's work in believers will be completed and that suffering for Christ is a privilege and we shouldn't be discouraged. It encourages believers to live in a manner worthy of the gospel, to stand united, and to find joy and purpose even in opposition because these circumstances can further the gospel's spread and bring glory to Christ. Let's look at some key themes in the chapter.

Rejoice Even in Suffering:    

Chapter 1 puts emphasis on finding joy in adverse circumstances just as Paul being imprisoned because these circumstances serve to the advance of the gospel.

Confidence in God's Work:

Paul expresses firm confidence that God, who began a good work in the Philippians, will bring it to completion by the day of Christ.

Focus on Christ:

Paul highlights the importance of living a Christ-centered life, stating that "to live is Christ and to die is gain."    

Unity and Perseverance:

The chapter encourages the believers in Philippi to stand together in unity, to live lives that are worthy of the gospel, and to not be afraid of those who oppose them.

The Gospel Advances:

Paul rejoices that his imprisonment and suffering have actually furthered the cause of the gospel, as his circumstances have led others to share and promote Christ.

Overview

We as Christians should know that things won't always be easy in our walk with God on this earth, but we can find joy and hope in the fact that we have an eternal home awaiting us one day. Because we put our faith in Jesus Christ, we can be assured that one day we won't have to struggle and battle with our flesh. Jesus paid every debt of sin that ever will be when He died on the cross. He sacrificed himself to deliver us from all sin and evil and the eternal separation of God. It is through Christ that we can come before the throne of God. Trusting and believing in Him and placing all of our faith in Him is the key to eternal life in Heaven someday. I want to do all that I can to keep my name in the book of life. I want to make it. If you don't know Jesus, I urge you to get your heart right. This world is not going to last forever, and we get closer each day to the return of Christ. I pray each of you will place your trust in Jesus and make Him the Lord of your life. Let him come into your heart. Repent and turn from your wicked ways today. Tomorrow is not promised. I love you all. May God bless you. 

Apologies

 Hello everyone!         

Sorry I've been MIA! So much has been going on this past month. Between my daughter having to go to the ER for an allergic reaction to later that evening going right back to the ER with my youngest son because he fell near a bon fire and got burned to sickness all throughout my house. It has been chaos the whole month of September. Now September was a rollercoaster month for me, spiritually speaking. Now I have been in and out of church for my whole life as you will know if you have read any of my previous blog posts. By no means am I a "baby Christian" but I absolutely have fallen off the wagon more times than I can count. I'm ashamed of that. I know how wrong it is to turn away from God and sin more just to come running back to the foot of the cross begging and pleading for forgiveness and mercy. With the death of Charlie Kirk this past month, my desire to get my life in order and follow Christ wholeheartedly. Truely and honestly this time. I know the storms and trials and tribulations I may face but I can never go back to sin this time by choice. My marriage has not been the best in the past few years and many know that based on previous blog posts but I am not giving in to the enemy any more. I'm standing my ground and taking back my house, my family, and my marriage. Everything I have belongs to God and I intend to follow Jesus Christ from this point forward in truth. I'm by no means perfect and I may fail many more times but I refuse to give up. A lot of my struggle with my marriage is the feeling of being out of control of the situations that arise. I had to finally decide to stop lurking and checking my husbands downfalls and paying attention to his sin and start worrying about my own salvation. I can't make my husband do right but I can pray and praying is what I've been doing. I had to give my husband to the Lord and stop trying to control and fix everything about him and change everything he is doing wrong. I know that nothing is impossible for God. He can heal all of the brokenness that is in my life and my marriage and even my husband. Other than the fiasco of things going on this past month, the reason I haven't been on here daily is because I have just really been studying my bible and really looking at God's word. I recently have been studying up on the rapture and the tribulation. I know that is a controversial topic today but I'm curious what other people believe. Pre tribulation rapture, mid tribulation rapture, or post tribulation rapture. I haven't fully decided what I believe about it yet but I do believe that Jesus Christ died on the cross and bore all my sins so that I could be forgiven and have access to Heaven one day so long as I stay faithful and follow God's will. That's another question for you. Do you know Jesus as your personal Lord and savior? Have you been born again? It is so important in the present with all that is going on in the world and what is coming to be prepared and know within your heart that you are saved. I am holding on to my salvation at all costs. I'm trying to prepare my house for the last days that are coming. We may not know the hour or the day when Jesus will return but I want to be ready when He comes. I want my house to make it to Heaven all together and not have to experience Hell for eternity. I pray that everyone will think about after reading this. Are you saved? 

Also, I recently watched a movie on Tubi called New World Order. It was definitely a wakeup call for what is to come in the future. If you haven't seen it, I recommend checking it out. I hope you all will forgive me for not keeping up with my daily/weekly devotionals. Life has just been different lately. Maybe I'll get back to it soon. As always thank you for following my blog and my prayers are with anyone who likes my blog and reads it. Talk soon, I hope. 

                                                                                            -Destinee

A Warning to Persevere in Your Faith

 Today's Lesson from Church

Today in church the pastor preached out of the book of Hebrews in Chapter 6. Well, let's talk about it and talk about what this scripture means.

Hebrews 6 

Therefore leaving the principles of the doctrine of Christ, let us go on unto perfection; not laying again the foundation of repentance from dead works, and of faith toward God, 2 Of the doctrine of baptisms, and of laying on of hands, and of resurrection of the dead, and of eternal judgement. 3 And this will we do, if God permit. 4 For it is impossible for those who were once enlightened, and have tasted of the heavenly gift, and were made partakers of the Holy Ghost, 5 And have tasted the good word of God, and the powers of the world to come, 6 If they shall fall away, to renew them again unto repentance; seeing they crucify to themselves the Son of God afresh, and put him to an open shame. 

Let's talk about each verse here and what they mean. What is it that God is speaking to us? In verses 1-6 it's talking about coming to maturity spiritually by leaving behind the kiddie Christian doctrines and moving on to perfection, with a strong warning against falling away from Christ after experiencing spiritual blessings. The meaning of "impossible to renew to repentance" is debated between different groups of people, but the passage likely is describing those who have truly tasted God's goodness but then turn away. This essentially is like re-crucifying Christ and rejecting His sufficient grace, an irreversible state that highlights the seriousness of apostasy rather than the possibility of losing salvation for true believers.

In other words, if you have experienced the true moving of the spirit of God and tasted of his goodness how could you ever turn away from it. I know many people fall short and many people mess up but it is important to always persevere and never turn back from it. Keep your faith in God and grow in Him each day. I have been in that category myself before. I was raised in church for most of my life and taught from childhood about Jesus. My sunday school teachers, pastors, church family, my grandmother, and many more people in my life have helped to lay the foundation of the gospel of Jesus Christ and now that I am older and have truly experienced it and tasted of His goodness it would be a slap to the face of Jesus if I were to turn away and do my own thing like I don't know any better. But as I have said I have done that before and I'm ashamed of how many times I've fallen and decided to slip back into old habits and ways. At the end of my rope each time I find myself being pulled back to the foot of the cross. I never want to turn away again. The Lord has been too good to me for me to turn my back on Him. He has never and will never leave me or turn away from me and that is something that I'm so grateful for. He truly is a good good father. 

Great is Our Lord! Oh, How Powerful!

 Verse of the Day

Great is our Lord, and of great power: his understanding is infinite. Psalm 147:5

Meditation

God's love is infinite, just like pi. We may never fully understand Him, but we can still experience His love and beauty. Knowing God helps us make sense of life and brings new wonder. We may never calculate His infinite knowledge, but we can find comfort in His endless love. 

Prayer

Almighty God, we are in awe of the glimpses of your greatness that we have seen. Help us to have faith in you that surpasses our own comprehension. Amen.

Tragically Lost on Earth, But Ultimately Restored in Heaven

 I wanted to take this time to speak on what happened on September 10, 2025. America lost a wonderful patriot and true man of God, Charlie Kirk. I have been watching his videos on Facebook for quite some time now and Charlie has been an everyday reel in my daily life. I enjoyed watching his debates and thought highly of him for standing in faith for God and having the courage to speak to so many of America's youth. I was so sorry to hear of his passing and how he brutally had his life snatched away from him. His wife and children lost a husband and daddy in an instant. I can't imagine the grief they must feel. It's always so sad to see someone as young as Charlie lose their life and over his opinion no less. You don't have to always agree with someone else's beliefs and morals, but violence should never be the answer just because you feel threatened by someone else's belief system. I have no doubt that Charlie's soul is with Jesus Christ our Lord and Savior right now. My thoughts and prayers go out to his wife and children, his friends, his church family and community, his colleagues, and most definitely his parents. We all must decide whether or not to follow Jesus because the time on Earth is coming to an end. This evil and cruelty in the world we have now is only but a snippet of what it will be as the days come to an end and Jesus Christ returns to receive His church. Pray with me for his family and all involved. 

The Truth is There; You Just Have to Look Closely

 Verse of the Day

Happy is the man that findeth wisdom, and the man that getteth understanding. Proverbs 3:13

Meditation

God's truths are often hidden, but those who look closely will find them. I noticed a tiny line of gold script on a church cross: "Jesus Christ is forever Lord of lords and King of kings." Closer examination of God's word and prayer life reveals deeper beauty and wisdom. Low vision can be a challenge, but it encourages me to pay closer attention.

Prayer

Heavenly Father, we thank You for the gift of Scripture. As we take time to read it, help us to pause and appreciate the beauty and truth in each verse. Amen.

Apologies

 I'm sorry that it has been a few days since I've posted anything. I've had both my daughter and son in the Emergency Room with an allergic reaction then a burn. It has been a crazy week to say the least. I am just exhausted at this point. Prayers please for my son who was burned from falling in a bon fire Tuesday night and my daughter could also use some prayers as her body is getting back to normal from the allergic reaction. I plan to post a devotional today while I have some time. Thank you for understanding and as always thank you for anyone who prays for me or my family. 

                                                                                                        Destinee

God's Light

 Verse of the Day    

And the light shineth in darkness; and the darkness comprehended it not. John 1:5

Meditation

God's light dwells within me. I'm tempted to fear, but I can shine His light so others can find peace too. His light is my constant companion. I'm grateful for it. 

Prayer

Heavenly Father, we are so grateful for the illuminating presence of your Son in our lives. His light guides us and brings us hope. We thank you for this precious gift. Amen.

In a Fog

 Same Chaos, Different Day

Some things never change. Anytime a piece of the past comes back up to the surface level of the ocean, I can't help but wonder why. They say when you get saved and you give your life to Christ, ask for forgiveness for all you've done that Jesus casts all of those things out of memory into the sea of forgetfulness. They take this from the scripture in Micah 7:19 where it says You will again have compassion on us and hurl all our iniquities into the depth of the sea. There is also another scripture in Jeremiah 31:34 that says I will forgive their iniquity, and I will remember their sin no more. So God removes our forgiven sins beyond any possibility of retrieval. But, I remember it all because I'm not God. I'm just a mere human in a world full of sin and my memory serves as a reminder of all the pain I have been through and all my fears that stem from those memories. I struggle deeply with trust in relationships. I have every reason to struggle. I've been lied to so many times by the people that I love and trusted. I've been betrayed by those who I felt so secure in but now I walk on eggshells. Are the repeated sins of my loved one a sign that it's time to let go or to separate from? I can't understand what God wants me to do. Or maybe I just won't listen. My heart isn't ready to let go and I'm scared of taking the next step. I think all anybody really wants is to be loved by someone they can trust and feel secure with that person. A best friend they can spend all their days with and know that this is where they are meant to be. I hope I will truly hear what God is telling me soon. But I wonder if I'll listen. Please pray for me if you will to make the right choices and for God's will to be loud in my life. 

Dying Daily to Self

 Verse of the Day

I protest by your rejoicing which I have in Christ Jesus our Lord, I die daily.

1 Corinthians 15:31

Meditation

Christians are called to live selflessly, trusting God to provide the grace to do the right thing. This is not easy, but it brings joy, peace, and justice before God. We must "die to self" daily and not live for our own desires. This is the best way to make a difference in the world.

Prayer

Lord, I'm not perfect, but I know that, like Paul, I can overcome my selfishness. Please give me the strength to become more unselfish. Show me how to rid myself of my selfishness so that I can be a vessel for your work. In Jesus' name, Amen.