I'm about to be real and raw here. I suffered from depression and anxiety as a teenager. Just a little back story on me before adulthood: my mother suffered from depression and addiction when I was growing up. My parents are divorced and have been since I was 6 years old. My mother carried her struggles from childhood into her adult life. She started taking pills as a teen and that started the root of her addiction later in life. So, this next poem is my feelings of being a young teen dealing with these experiences in my life at the time. My mother no longer suffers from addiction and is doing well these days. I'm so proud of how much she has overcome and how present she is with her grandchildren. God really has brought her so far from where she was.

My Life

Hit with the truth, tortured by the pain. When I slit my wrist, I hit every vein. Why do I do this? Why must I be? Why do I live so spiritually free? I dream about stories that happened long ago. They're parts of my life I would never want to show. All parts are bad none really good. Sometimes I want to kill myself, but I know I never could. I live every moment believing my life is fine but when I try to deal with it, I can't believe it's mine. I try to let it go and just let it pass. Then the blood starts to flow and my heart beats fast. I try to hold on and be strong but the way life goes on I will never last long. I suffocate in sadness, and I drown in my own tears. I live life on the edge and get pounded down with fear. Sometimes I feel good and sometimes I feel insane. Why do I go on living with this pain? One day my time will come when I must bow before my God. And there before Him I will stand, tall with no reward. He'll either say "Come in my child and live with the Lord" or "Depart from me forever more." If I don't take life and live at its best, I'll perish in Hell with pins in my chest. So, I want to go on and take my bow. So, I can live life better than ever right now.